Family Is Relative (Until A Death Occurs)

Three years ago today my glass was full and raised in love to a favorite person that I love beyond the stars to this day. Even before then I had learned some realities about family dynamics. The hard way. I am not uneducated in these matters but don't expect loved ones to act so (there is no good word to use here so help yourself to your goto word selection). 

I was the local stepchild of a step "family" once years ago and that relationship taught me that blood was thicker than water. I was water. My husband, son (favorite of step father was what I was told but can I believe that now?) and I were invited to a Christmas party at a local step sisters' house. We arrived a few minutes early and walked in to find that the blood "family" was cleaning up from their having a pre Christmas party party that didn't include us. Water. Us. Just the three of us. I was so confused. Are we not family or just not family? We left as soon as we could and I never have been able to forget how hurt that day made me feel. My Mother was working out of state and my sister was far, far away in the flatlands of Amarillo. These same step sisters, step brother and step father were the family I had yesterday so was yesterday a lie? According to the need for an additional "family" Christmas party, yes it was.
Families in mourning may do some very odd things. Whether the deceased head of household be a patriarch or matriarch I can attest that among the oddities is having a private ceremony or rituals that exclude "family" of the "family". Yes, it is the prerogative of the "family" to have an invitation only event(s). But isn't it for the "family" whom these things are planned and carried out ~ done so to comfort the family? Did the family funeral planner(s) think she was a celebrity that was not to be shared with anyone not family? She was my Mother while mine was dealing with hepatitis. She drove to Burleson when I got sick at school. We lived with her and her family for six weeks while our blood mother recovered. Her daughter taught me to drive. She wasn't a celebrity to me. She was my favorite (only) Aunt.

I can only imagine how life could have been kinder for those "family" members that were not included, and yes that exclusion included me. I was asked to speak at the funeral which I did without hesitation. No other invitation was extended and at first I didn't even recognize that I was not invited to the "family" activities. I considered myself to be immediate family. Who spent the first Mothers' Day with my sister and I the first year after our Mother passed away? So what was the reason to be excluded? Was this because it was the last request by my favorite Aunt or was the family trying to keep other family members out for reasons I'll never know or even try to understand. My pain, my loss, my greif was left to cry alone. Now orphaned fully and unrecognized as family or friend of my very favorite Aunt. I was nothing. I wasn't permitted to witness my cousins, their children, step children, grandchildren, step grandchildren or close friends release butterflies or to have final closure at the burial.

 

Family? Now I know the true meaning. Family isn't a blood line. Blood is removed as part of the passage from life. Family isn't a water line because as we are returned to the earth the water evaporates. 

Family is relative until a death occurs. 

Family is a love line. 

Family is what the heart, soul and spirit knows to be a real love filled relationship that drives you to be a better you. Family  leads you always to light. Family is the people you love that love you back. Family engages in a meaningful, joyful relationship without leaving you bewildered on your own or unrecognizably bewildered at the loss of another family member. 

Family is who you pray with. 

Family is who you pray for. 

Family is your kind deeds in action during time well spent. True family is what makes your spirit soar and your love light shine for all to see. Light 

What horrible thing(s) was I expected to do if invited? Show up? Granted my mother was not as wealthy as her sister and just as of today I now wonder had my Mother still been living would I have still been excluded from the last memories. Would my mother have not been invited either? I do know it is beyond cruel to break an already broken heart.

So happy I spent time with my Aunt while she was here. I know she loved my family and me. We often bought her dinner and she thought we were the coolest. Light 

So, if you are responsible for the final arrangements but the decedent by death has made you beyond wealthy (which makes you ponder who to trust or you were paranoid already), know that love is kind, inclusive and shines beyond the stars. No need to split to sit on one side of the church or the other. It isn't blood v water. There is no competition in family. Look for the shiny people. They truly loved your loved one and will benefit from the rituals of an inclusive family. 

Blood is thicker than water but light? 

Light shines beyond the stars. 

  ✯  ✭  ✬  ✫  🌟  ⭐  🌠

I am blessed to have my son his wife and grandkids who will likely be making my final, final arrangements. They know the light thing to do.

Love is kind (and shines eternal).

Mother To Mother

Fare Whether

Feathers of a bird, stay with the herd Tarred and feathered, we stick together Lions and tigers and swears, oh my Our flight paths criss and cross in the sky The bulls, the lambs the great I am The poets, the jocks, the river swam United divided, prodded and poked 2017, choked or stoked

~ Our Daily Bread ~

To vote or not to vote should never be a question! If you are eligible and don't vote you are agreeing to be lead blindly into your immediate future which has the potential to adversely affect you and yours for years to come. Your vote is your voice. I have an issue with those that pick the letter by a candidate such as "R" or "D" and believe that they are somehow voting. If you vote a straight ticket, why? That is supporting a party not a candidate. You should vote for the candidate that best serves you and your family. We need political diversity not clones who promote a single vision and platform. Voting should be more of a buffet rather than the "blue" plate or "red" eye special. Just selecting bread you have a choice of wheat, white, rye, potato, yeast, buckwheat, cornbread, banana, biscuits, sourdough, soda, and so on. Maybe your family is gluten free. Would you purchase bread based on its brand or the contents?

I personally think Donald is a washed up TV star, carnival barker and snake oil salesman who has obviously mastered his craft especially with the uneducated. I have no idea how his adjectives plan to "make America great again". I thought putting people in office that would have the fortitude to hold 45 in check on all spectrum's was our best choice in the 2016 election cycle. Since his election he has put his wealth and greed ahead of all else including the FBI building (Story here). He has been campaigning since his 2nd day in office and golfing at his properties  bringing in thousands of dollars to pad his pockets even more. Republicans have to date not stepped up to call him out. As of June 16, 2019 he has been on the grounds of his golf courses or played golf elsewhere 198 times at a cost of who knows what. What we do know is the activity is also lining his pockets. He is very good at lining his pockets. Golf? Not so much. He cheats which is no real surprise.

Click here for Trump's Current Golf Count 

or why he is Nicknamed Pele

The new Trump International Hotel has seen many CEO's, lobbyists, and other interest groups wearing their company brand on their shirts

just hanging out in the lobby for hours if not all day. People with foreign interest reserving rooms for multiple nights. This is against the Emoluments Clause and is yet another investigation waiting to happen. Unfortunately the breaking of the Emoluments Clause has not had any consequence. The same is true for the Hatch Act.

Hatch Act

Income from the hotel was $40 million in 2016 if he didn't cheat on his financial disclosure report. 

Even the demise of Khashoggi, the journalist that was murdered in Istanbul, Turkey; Trump seems to be covering for the Saudis. And beyond all of that I still think he has no idea what he should be doing even though he has been in the office too long! It was predictable that he wouldn't change (be Presidential) Because he constantly transforms (based on the immediate feedback at his rallies) it is not possible to know where he stands or if he will set sail on yet another uncharted course upon first gust. This disturbs me greatly. A vote for him was a mystery meal at best. No idea what you are ordering, or if it meets your nutritional needs. Will it cause any gastrointestinal consequences such as acid reflux, bloating, or rashes.

In this next election cycle let's vote for candidates that are best prepared to break bread and serve. Donald Trump? He has proven to have an empty core with no compass, emotion or belief of his own. He just follows whatever way the wind blows at the moment and pretends to be a leader by schmoozing the people he is with; no matter their belief. A chameleon for mostly whites and that one black supporter he pointed out at a rally by saying "Look at my African-American over here".

Hillary? Trump is still talking about her. She is not running and no, when she did she was not a perfect choice either but, she got more votes than Trump but lost the 2016 election. She has been studied, investigated, deposed, blamed and that cycle repeats and continues to this day. And even as she is microscopically scrutinized, she has continued to serve the public. She has a history of working for and with people. As additional candidates step up, take the time to listen. If you are hungry to get things done, maybe the buffet would be the best choice. 
Please study carefully and make your selection. Your table is being made ready. #Vote2020 

He has had two years to show us the health plan and we got nothing. He promised a wall that Mexico would pay for, also not going to happen. His administration has treated immigrant children so inhumanely it is horrific to me what the long term effects might be. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind ~ and war with Iran is a possibility.

To protect and serve

Cop Humor

16 hrs · 

As I was watching the news outlets covering the shooting in Dallas, I noticed something significant but not surprising; When The shots rang out, all those protesters ran, and ran quickly away from the sound of the shots, screaming, crying and trampling over each other.

I saw a reporter run to the shots, undoubtedly to get a story. Who else ran towards the shots? Every law enforcement officer in the area!!!

The reporter ran to get the story, but will remain a safe distance from harm. The officers will run and continue to run towards the shots in an effort to neutralize or stop the threat, to save and protect all those people, who were there protesting against the police. Who sacrificed their lives tonight while protecting the protestor's? So far, FOUR police officers killed! There are several reports of police officers shielding protestor's from gunfire with their own bodies!

God bless our police officers. May these officers rest in peace

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
As we mourn the loss of officers in Dallas, I have to ask why we praise the police for doing their job. That is not to say that I don't back the blue I do! After events involving police I often see a post praising the police for rushing toward the danger. In other words, doing their job. Yes the police will be running toward the danger and that is part of their duty to protect and serve. Yes their job is more dangerous than mine but it should in no way elevate any police officer above that of any citizen. We should all be on a level playing field and over and over we are painfully aware that we are not.

Similarly this is how often times a sports figure who is on the wrong side of the law is not held to the same standard as an average citizen no matter what crime is alleged. The punishment if any is a slap on the wrist rather than the standard of due process. A bad actor is a bad actor. It does not and should not be attached to the occupation of the individual nor should a victim be further victimized or have additional harm done or be minimized based on any previous criminal record.

I believe any officer who exhibits going above and beyond should be individually recognized and all police officers are required to live by the same laws of the land. It is also my belief that the best way we can support our officers is to stop instigating and agitating to make it a black or white issue when it is black AND white or more often lately black and blue.

I was fondled by a policeman who lived next door when I was younger so I know not all "cops" are good. I had a very cool family oriented neighbor who was a cop so I know all cops aren't bad. I have black friends and coworkers who are loving caring people so I know not all blacks are bad. We have obviously taught ourselves and others to paint with a broad brush. This leaves no way to include details. We live in a world of color not black and white. And each color has a different hue. There are shades of red, blue, green, purple. The world is a rainbow of color. Let's work actively to live together, out loud in the open instead of hiding or retreating to our box. Talk with your neighbor, meet someone new at your church, start a group or club that promotes kindness, love and understanding. Neighbor to neighbor, heart to heart make your part of the world a better place.

I am white but I am so much more than the color of my skin. We all are.

Love is kind. 

Use your voice, your gifts, your talents to move us to higher ground.

With kindness and in love, stand up.

H. U. G. S. (Humans Utilizing Gifts Successfully)

Dallas, Texas, Twelve officers, Five killed

This is not the world God made. No. This is the world we made. We. That we is all inclusive for every adult and impacts every child including the unborn. Left, right. Black, white. People of all neighborhoods, backgrounds, ages, races, religions and occupations. We. You and me. People.

From the bad actors to the people who fanned the flames, spread untruths of their own, infected others with talking points of the left or the right, talk radio, cable news and even those who sat quietly while a wave of rage grew stronger. The good of all was replaced by an infectious epidemic. A lack of mutual respect, support and compassion, concern or regard for anyone who does not look like we do, talk like we do, worship like we do and on and on.

This is not the world God made. No. This is the world we made. We. And if we have any chance of living in harmony we must fix it. We.

We need not blame or shame. We need not pit one against another. None of these things will change the current political and social climate. We are now experiencing in excruciating escalating egregious episodes of an us and them. Realize they are us and we are them. We need to listen to one another, be respectful, speak calmly in love and truth. We need to call out those who continue to spread hate in any form. We need to step up and speak out against people and practices that tear us apart. We are fully responsible to make this world a better place.

Thoughts and prayers have rang hollow for too long now. Please be the hands and feet. Don't turn a blind eye to your neighbor. Help who you can when you can. Celebrate our differences with open minds and open hearts.

Love is kind. Use your voice, your gifts, your talents to move the we to higher ground. With kindness and in love, stand up.

So many are counting on us to do the right thing. Please join me.

H. U. G. S. ( Humans Utilizing Gifts Successfully )


https://www.yahoo.com/news/three-officer-fatally-shot-during-000000452.html