Just As I Am

I 💗 America!
Being in a melting pot with so many rich and diverse cultures. I can't imagine living in a country where each person is expected to dress the same, enjoy the same foods, be the same as their neighbor. That just seems so unnatural to be relegated to be just like those around me or in my circle. How would we learn new things? We must forget how much we share and learn from one another. If not for learning, most of us would be where we came from originally or elsewhere. The Native Americans saved us as we immigrated. They taught us how and what to grow, fertilize and when to harvest. How to smoke meat, to navigate and acclimate to the indigenous surroundings. Which plants to eat, what plants would heal and which are toxic. How to tan hides and on and on "Pilgrim". Ever had a cup of coffee or chocolate anything? Came from somewhere right? Most all of us came from somewhere and brought pieces of our traditions with us. Maybe some traditions were started once our families settled in this once new land.

  🗺 🚢

Land of the free and home of the brave. So many have fought for our right to be bound ONLY by our constitution and form of government. Collectively, one by one let's make a determined decision to join the brave and encourage the us in our day to day encounters to be who we are where we are and to explore the world beyond our comfort level. There's a song we sang often in church when I was a very young child. "Just As I Am". Just as I am is how we originally came here. Let's interrupt those speaking to only divide others from the fold. We are us and we are them. Engage in a conversation with someone who is the least like you. You will likely discover some wonderful things. Maybe a new art form or a fabulous recipe.

H. U. G. S. 

(Humans Utilizing Gifts Successfully) 

I Wish 7-18-1999

I wish I could spark a fire in your eyes
I wish I could see the truth through the lies
I wish I could be the best part of you
I wish I was sure that you love me too
I wish I could have had just one more chance
I wish we could have a reason to dance

Doors 4-18-2000

Doors that welcome, doors that warn

Doors that shelter from the storm

Doors to enter or return

Doors of life our lessons learned

Some with flowers growing near

Others locked, unwelcome here

Some you knock or ring a bell

Some there is no way in hell

Some are weathered, some are new

Some I held open for you

Doors of exit, doors of yore

Doors to open ever more

Doors of sorrow, doors of glee

Doors still standing tauntingly

The Journey 10-06-1999

Memories tumbled with time
Emotions intertwined
Where yesterdays abound
Lost love forever found
Curving, tangled days
Younger, carefree ways

So many paths to choose
And where to leave these blues
That they could not be found
Nor turn my head around
Walking thru the haze
My heart my soul ablaze

Softened thru the years
Remembering - bitter tears
Accepting my own path
Thru joy, hope or wrath
Older - head is bowed
Learning life out loud

Kiddo, Uncle Sonny, Mother, two Dads and counting

What triggers your memories?

I will always think of Kiddo, my grandmother every time I hear a soprano sing in a church choir above all the other voices. No matter how many or how loud others were singing, we could always hear Kiddo sing above all the others. Both my Great Uncle Sonny and my father-in-laws passing have left such deep wounds they have yet to heal and I expect there will still be a wound when it is my turn to leave this earth. Yellow ribbons. That's just one of my memory triggers for Uncle Sonny. Up to the time of his passing, he was the only man in my entire life that had never left me. I loved him unconditionally as a child and looked forward to each weekday morning of burned toast, oatmeal, and Tang.
I so wanted him to stay I tied yellow ribbons on his hospital bed rail in hopes he would see my signal and stay just a bit longer. Just one more kiss and hug. Just one more. I cried for days and wrote a poem that I placed in his jacket pocket on the day of the funeral. It was the only option left to say goodbye. I miss him.

I still see the pain and anguish on my father-in-laws face before he was moved from the hospital to hospice. I would feed him Jello and try to make him laugh but each day he slipped further and further and soon his whispered voice spoke no more. When I just couldn't watch him suffer needlessly anymore I said "Dad, your breaking my heart! You don't have to be a hero. Please Dad let them give you the pain medicine." I still have the memory of his anguished face. Especially his face but his whole visible body flushed with red as he nodded his head in agreement. He was hurt for causing my heartache and my heartache was from seeing his pain. Four years later and it still brings tears to my eyes. I raced to the nurses station and told them he had agreed to take pain medication. For now I will embrace this memory and hope for a happier one to emerge.

The smell of fresh asphalt resurrects memories of my Dad. Mother left me with her image and I see her reflection not mine each time I look in the mirror. And there are a couple of songs, The Lion Sleeps Tonight also known as "Wimoweh", Teach Your Children Well a song by Graham Nash that keep her memory alive in me.

My Aunt June, my favorite Aunt June left this world just recently and I will never look at a Minion or crayons the same.  I was honored to speak at her funeral. She was a delight to know and easy to love. Her passing has elevated me to a full fledged adult but I still want to be like her when I grow up.

Physically gone but our circle of family and friends will live forever in the memory of our hearts and minds. Those sweet memories that come unexpectedly bring the most joy. I believe that it is the memory of our loved ones that create sparkle in the world. The sky, the stars, lakes, rivers, streams and oceans. Maybe that is why I am drawn to shiny things . . .

Love is kind (and shines forever).